What’s going on?

Though I’ve admitted that I don’t have feelings for my crush anymore, it bothers me that we don’t talk anymore. A simple hallway greeting would suffice, but I don’t get any of that anymore.

After our lunch schedule changed, she promised to say “I miss you” everyday, which to my surprise, she did! For a whole week I’d hear it. I guess the problem was me not ever being able to give back the affection in words. You have to understand that while her I miss you can be simple, friendly exchange of words, mine holds a deeper meaning because I liked her. My I miss you would not only contain how I miss our friendly banters over lunch, but everything I liked about her I have missed. So it wasn’t easy to say. When I finally decided to properly tell back that I do miss her, she started–somewhat–avoiding me or ignoring me.

Several times for the past three days, I greeted her many times, but she never returned the greeting. I could understand that she was busy, but what’s a second to greet back and get back to work? We even met eyes several times, but I didn’t know what to do anymore. I wanted to ask (in a non-serious way) if she was angry or why she’s been so lukewarm the past days. I kinda feel bothered again, so my reflex is to avoid. I tend to avoid people whom I feel don’t want me around in the first place.

I guess I feel bad since I thought we were beginning to be friends, but apparently, that’s not gonna happen soon.

Peaceful co-existence as non-communicating co-teachers then.  How very sad. 😦



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