My family

If I were writing an elementary essay, I would talk about my family in the most simplest, idealistic way: My family is made of my daddy, mommy, older brother, and me. We go out every Sunday to go to church. We eat in Jollibee. My family is happy!

If I were to write about my family during my high school days, I would describe it as: My family is made of my mom, dad, older brother, younger brother, step mom and me. I live with my mom when I go to school. Every Friday, my daddy picks me up from our house in Makati to go to our house in Boni. I watch TV all the time in the house or play with my Barbie. On Sunday, we go to church then eat in a Chinese or pizza restaurant. This is the best part of the weekend. I enjoy time with my family like this, but I need to go home at night.

If I was describing my family situation during my latter college years, it would be like this: My family is composed of my father, my mother, my Tita, Kuya, younger brother, and me. My dad is in America, working. My Tita takes care of our shop in Boni. I occasionally visit her, my older brother who lives with them now, as well as my younger brother. I often fight with both my brothers, but they’re mostly simple sibling banter. I always have long talks with Tita. I guess she likes me most because I’m the only girl in the family, and I am a very good listener. She always have complains about the house, the business, my brothers, and of course, my dad, but she loves everyone, nonetheless. If I lived with them, she’ll probably complain about me too, but I don’t so I’m safe. It always amuses me how great Tita’s memory is because she remembers the exact dialogue in her stories. There are weekends I don’t visit anymore because I’m busy or I get lazy, but I need to because my dad always go online on Ovoo. He goes online from 11:00 AM up to 2:00 PM sometimes. He always asks us how we’re doing, the kids, but we mostly go our separate ways after a while then he and Tita talk for hours. We also go to church on Sundays together, but often Tita would go alone or only with me since my brothers can’t be bothered to do so. I don’t like going to church, but I don’t like Tita feeling alone also. After church, my brothers join us for dinner. Later, I go home by myself or they take me home by car. 

I’m going to describe my family at present: In 2014, became less of one person. She’s in heaven now, probably watching over the family she has invested on for so many years. Our house in Boni is less of one matron de arc, but my younger brother lives with two friends as borders. He doesn’t communicate with us much, despite the years of being together, but has episodes of total sadness and I don’t know how to comfort him. Yesterday, he seemed okay, but he had no stories for us except that he doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore. My older brother lives with his family not far from my house, he has now two bouncing balls of energy as sons who keep him busy and a rocky marriage with his wife. I’m not sure what’s the deal with them now, because every quarter we get a press release from my brother that they’re going to finally separate. Yesterday, they seemed okay. I still live with my mom. Things between has never changed, but probably I have more authority over my actions now. She welcomes my younger brother in her house, but it’s more complicated for him than just living with us. There’s a lot more to deal with. My dad is still in America, trying his best to deal with old age, the loss of a loved one, and three kids who cannot communicate with him on a daily basis like Tita did. He must be very sad, feeling lonely and alone, but we can’t help it. We grew up never connecting that well with him. At least with my older brother and I. My younger brother grew up with him, but not me. Over the last months I lived with him, I get to know him better–and worse–but it’s probably late to demand being “malambing” children to us. I already had an established personality when I connected with him, so I can’t be the “princess” he always wanted me to be. My siblings and I don’t talk much. We mostly like Facebook statuses and pictures, give a short comment here and there, but we probably talk more, hang out more with our friends. We don’t hug, we don’t text, we don’t assure each other that we’re gonna be there all the time. I guess the latter is already understood, even without words. When my family meets, even after a long time of not being together, we don’t catch up, we don’t say “I miss you” to each other, we’re not excited over each others’ presence and I’m not sure how to feel about this. I guess, at the back of my mind, I’ve always longed for the kind of family I see on TV, or the ones my friends have, but that’s not the one I have. I can’t say I’m unlucky because I love them nonetheless.

This is my reality and of my family. Also a reminder to just go with what they want for the next birthday treat and not insist on things I like (eherm, Japanese food). Haaaay…what’s gonna happen in the next years to us? Will we still be in the same country? How much will we miss each other? I guess I’ll just have to hold on and see.

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