This Fandom is Killing Me

Yes, I’m a fangirl through and through so I get affected to things happening in my fandoms. Right now, it’s Lovesick The Series, the Thai TV series I posted an ass-long blog post some days ago.




After a week of that blog post, the following episodes of the lakorn got better, much better. Finally, they had the sense to stretch a short part of the novel into more than two episodes.

As the novel was limited to Noh’s POV, the series was a great avenue to breathe life into the other characters of the book. Though novel Noh can be quite descriptive of the people in his life, other characters like Aim, Phun’s girlfriend, somehow had more depth in the series. In the novel, she’s basically a cheating bitch that hurt Phun in Noh’s POV and he doesn’t give a shit about Aim if Phun wouldn’t. At least in the series they showed her being hunted by her own wrong doings, and making the viewers (at least me) wonder how sorry she was of her actions or she’s just trying to get out of the situation unscathed and still very much protected of her label as Phun’s girlfriend. Part of my plot-bias are rounded characters that drive the story, so I thought this was great. Moreover, the love story of Moan-Mo-Golf is also progressing in the direction I like, so kudos to that.

Now, now, now.

At the end of Episode 6, they showed a preview of Noh grabbing Phun’s head for a kiss.


Of course, for us fans, we REJOICE at this. For a whole week, we anticipated to see this scene. Personally, I love kiss scenes, especially when they are between couples I ship.

Based on how my opinions were somehow swayed by other viewers’ opinions, I didn’t judge the episodes 5 to 6  until I’ve watched the subbed episodes myself. I had to wait for a few days after the original airing, but at least I was free of judgement, I had very low expectations, and so I got the satisfaction I want. To be fair to the writers, the quality of the story telling and the story improved a lot, but I think having lower expectations helped boost my satisfaction, as well.

For this week’s Saturday episode, I cheated a bit. As that that teaser was a bit too much for my frail fujoshi heart, I went ahead and browsed the raw video just to find the kiss scene.

FAST FORWARD TO THE END OF THE EPISODE: Phun and Noh are talking. Episode 7 closed with Phun kissing Noh in the forehead (for the nth time lol). I’m just not a big fan of forehead kisses. I don’t find it romantic at all. In Filipino culture, if a person you love/like romantically kisses you in the forehead, you’re viewed as a sister/brother. You better move on. So yeah, I want lip-kiss ohhohoho.

Despite not understanding Thai, I remember this part well because it was one of my favorites.

It’s another bittersweet moment when both characters are breaking down from their masks of doing what is right, instead of what their heart yearns for. It’s fragile moment for Phun, who seemed composed and collected for most of the Hua Hin trip, apologizing to Noh about feeling jealous. He’s conflicted with his responsibilities to Aim as her boyfriend, his promise to Noh that he will not do anything that will put Noh be in a difficult position, and probably a condition with himself that he has to honor Noh’s decision and save Aim from the heartache. It’s the only thing he can do to repent for the “sin” he has committed.

This moment was also an awakening for Noh. He admitted to have felt the same jealousy as Phun, and he has repeated over and over in the novel his uneasiness whenever he things of Phun and Aim as a couple. He loves Phun, he knows it, but I think Noh’s character is not a very honest one. His actions shows more of his true feelings than what he reveals to the reader. That’s why, in this scene when Phun apologize for kissing him out of the blue (during their discussion) and saying that he couldn’t control himself, Noh answered: “I can’t do it (control my feelings) either.” and kissed Phun.

Actually, in the novel, it wasn’t clear who kissed whom first, but from my first reading to the next several ones, it really seemed that it was Noh that sought Phun’s lips. Clearly, Phun was apologizing for his earlier actions, and was even feeling guilt and shame for having feelings which was out of his control for Noh, so he couldn’t have pushed his desires any further, unless he sees a clear go signal from Noh. Even from that chapter/episode when they had the confrontation about their feelings, Phun wouldn’t have made a move if Noh didn’t tell him to forget everything and act according to what he honestly wants. In retrospect, Phun had always honored Noh’s decision in terms of bigger decisions. Yes, he might’ve played dirty in getting Noh play as his pretend boyfriend, but on more serious matters when their happiness can hurt others, he’d let Noh decide on their it, with label or without, it’s Noh’s shot. Of course, Phun’s uncontrollable reactions and actions makes his character flawed, and of course, better.

So the issue is this (I’m sorry for suddenly blabbing on a character analysis. I’m suddenly realizing these things as I write them and my control is out the window, pardon):

This scene was cut:

Again, I’m not sure what is considered inappropriate in Thai TV, but I thought this was an innocent kiss. Hormones the Series had no problem showing deeper kisses, but I guess the overall theme of Hormones was heavier compared to Lovesick.

Anyhow, they also had this issue in the first season wherein Phun and Noh kissed in the car but it was cut. The production team showed it on TV once or to a few audiences in a public viewing (not sure), so the only copy we have of that was a low-quality video recording of the scene with lucky fangirls witnessing the glory in their own private heaven. Well, lucky for other fans since there’s a trace of it on the internet. That was not included even in the DVD boxset. Weird, right? Why does it have to be that exclusive? I saw the video and they were not even kissing kissing! They were light pecks, but it was so sweet (great job White and Captain!), that you’ll just pardon it. That was another great scene actually. It was a goodbye scene.

Fans moved on from that, fine. We got one great kissing scene in Episode 8 of Season 1 which was the confession episode. That was important, fine.

Now, I had doubts about what I’ve read in the beginning, saying it was actually cut from the show. I was thinking/hoping that they’ll continue the scene on Episode 8 which will be later this evening. Actually, that scene would have been a good cut if they didn’t show that preview in the first place. If this show is banking on fangirls, they shouldn’t do this to us. It’s seriously, cruel.

Now, I’m pretty sure to stay away from the internet if I don’t want to be too hurt next time because what I learned about this whole drama of this piece of picture sort of tainted my view of this whole production, as well as my pure admiration of the author.

I’m not Thai, but a lot of fans have been generous enough to share translations of twitter posts by the author, P’Hed, the prod company, a staff, as well as a few of Kudalakorn, our translator.

I’m too lazy find the original posts and translation, but i’ll just post them here as I found them out:

  • The kiss picture spread on the internet. Found first in Weebo. Source unknown.
  • News that the kiss scene was cut from the episode (meaning we won’t see it on the next). Prod company said that they had reasonable reasons to have it cut.
  • P’Hed, Lovesick novel author, tweeted that she was the one who ordered the scene to be cut so she should receive the backlash of the fans.
  • Some fans asked Kudalakorn to translate the prod and authoer’s tweet, but she said she’d rather not get into it. As she seems to have connections with the staff (from LS1), seems fishy.
  • P’Hed said that she found Noh acting out of character in that scene, so she ordered it to be cut. Debatable since if that’s the case, Noh would’ve been out of character the whole series. Some readers say that Noh in the novel and series are very different, but I beg to disagree. Captain is doing a very good job as Noh, we’re just witnessing Noh from a different perspective in the series. Well, fans can have a debate as much as they want, but shouldn’t the author know her work more? Have we been reading her work wrong all along? I don’t want to believe that she’s conflicted of her own work now. She just can’t. It’s already published, digested, deconstructed, and reincarnated into a series.
  • When a fan asked P’Hed if the kiss scene would be included in the DVD, she replied: “Absolutely not.”
  • A staff of LS2 posted a written apology, confessing he was the one who posted the kiss picture. He was apologizing and reflecting on his actions in the post. P’Hed replied with angry emojis. Okay, he made a mistake there because he was stupid enough to oversee the danger of spreading a picture of a well-known series, of that kind of material, on the internet. Even unknown people’s information goes around on the internet, how much is LS?! On the other hand, we’re kinda thankful since the incident seemed to have opened a can of worms. I mean, why drag us a long in the first place? If they’re not gonna show at least that head-grabbing-for-a-kiss scene, why show us a preview in the first place? Is this a marketing strategy? Why are you messing with fans? On the other hand, if they’re gonna show that part at least and then cut to a scene in the morning with Phun and Noh in bed together (I believe they didn’t have sex, they just made out probably), I will be less annoyed. Kthnx.
  • Fans have translated P’Hed’s tweets and they say she’s not apologetic of her decision. Rather, she’s just annoyed at the person who posted the picture since there’s not gonna be an issue in the first place without that. Well, we’ll see after episode 8. If that head-grab-kiss didn’t happen, the issue will continue. And anyway, that would imply that Noh kissed Phun, so why cut it?! Alright, censorship. Whatever. I just think that kiss said a lot about what Noh was feeling in that moment. It spoke more than what he can express and admit to Phun. *sigh*
  • P’Hed gave some analogies about that decision saying if a cook made fried rice, but thought that it wasn’t good enough to be served to costumers/friends, then it’s good right? A fan pointed out that the staff who leaked the picture was like a staff of that fried rice resto who had customers try the fried rice and liked itOn the other hand, as the cook has better judgement of what is quality and not, we cannot argue. Anyway, customers cannot eat anything if the cook doesn’t serve the food. However, there has already been a small amount of that fried rice given to customers, they liked it, and were craving for more, but the cooked thought the quality was not up to his taste, so he throws the cooked fried rice away instead. Basically, it’s a frustrating game of push-and-pull.
  • P’Hed said something about the decision not hurting fans of the original novel. Excuse me, I’m a big fan of the original novel now and I’m hurt. I understand that writing on paper gives more flexibility to stories with sensitive issues, and that there’s a lot of limitations and considerations in translating that to television, but since these limitations mean as a fan I see the TV version sacrifice an important part of the plot and character development, hurts me.

I guess I have to remind myself to separate the text and the writer. =.=


Time flies when I’m complaining in this blog, so I better stop here. As I’ve mentioned in my previous post about Lovesick, I hope the production team realizes that they have a smart audience. We’re so into the fandom that we will deconstruct every corner of this story. They should be smarter with their decisions. It’s only the 7th episode, but the issues are already quite a list already. We’re quite scary, aren’t we? Yes, all fans are.

I’m willing to be corrected here, so I hope for the best for the following episodes.

I’m still a fan, but I’m just not sure until when I can tolerate being disappointed. Haha This is one of the reasons I’d rather wait for all the episodes of a series to be out then binge-watch it rather than waiting for it week to week. If only I can control myself better…haha.

This fandom will kill me.

7 thoughts on “This Fandom is Killing Me

  1. I’m just as confused as you are. The writers have said that phed isn’t involved with the writing this year. But she’s ordering cuts of important scenes? I read that scene as definitely involving a kiss, with Phun putting his mouth closer to Noh and Noh finally responding with his lips taking over after waiting to experience the pounding of his heart. Phun was trembling waiting for Noh, but losing control if he’s s reserve. I didn’t expect that they would pull that off, but it defenitely was more than a kiss on the forehead, even if it wasn’t the most passionate kiss the boys ever had.

    But there was a kiss. and it was in the previews I thought. Or the teasers. Confused am i

    • Hmmm, wait. I read a comment in KL that P’Hed is actually responsible for PhunNoh scenes in the series, then the side stories are written by the other writers. I think she has assistance for a different angle on the adaptation, but I think she has the upper hand as it’s her work? Copyright, etc. Well, we’ll never know since it also depends on their negotiation for season 2.

      I also didn’t expect for them to copy that scene from the book exactly (it might be too intimate/intense for the light series), but anyway, it was important to show that scene, with them trying to control themselves from each other to giving in to their feelings. It was such an important part of the story, SO WHY CUT IT P’?!

      There was a kiss, and they didn’t have to show it if they didn’t want to, but why put it there in the first place. Everyone is filled with questions and we’re kinda helpless about it, which makes it more frustrating. T_T

  2. Bravo on the great analysis on the drama. Also, YEAY, my analogy has gone a bit viral haha. I’m the one who pointed out and said:

    “And then you found out that the customers liked the fried rice you threw away so you’re blaming the person who let people taste it.”

    My friend posted it on twitter on my behalf since I don’t have a twitter. XD

    • Oh that’s you! Ahahaha!

      Well, great analogy. Personally, your analogy made more sense than P’Hed’s. I believe she had a follow-up question like if you made food and you think it’s not good, would you still give it to your friends even if it makes them sick? or to not give it away etc.

      I’m not sure. If she’s saying that scene will make us sick, readers of that part of the novel should have dropped the reading long ago.

      I feel so disappointed, seriously. What’s happening? LOL Can we just enjoy the series, seriously.

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