Day 041 – 2018.10.02

A belated celebration for Tita’s 54th birthday had me riding in a car with brothers grooving to cringey local music that I shamelessly started liking as well by the time the song finished. LOL

And Tita blew her cake! That was awesomesauce.

For all the sleepy moments I had throughout this day, I was able to finish “Fan Art” by Sarah Tregay.

I simultaneously read this book in my Kindle alongside “Simon and the Homo Sapiens Agenda” which I think make the latter book even more dragging to read since Tregay’s writing style appeals to me more. Both had simple stories: in love with someone, in the closet, someone in school knows their secrets, does not want to be outed by force (who does?). I guess Tregay’s book gains her edge in the voice of the characters.

I think both Jamie and Simon were trying to be funny, but Jamie’s metaphors and sarcasm appealed to me more. The side characters are endearing like Eden who is a closet lesbian and yaoi fangirl and had become one of Jamie’s greatest friend through his ordeal of staying in or outside the closet and figuring out what to do with Mason.

Mason, Jamie’s best friend and love interest, seems very lovely too. Jamie all the while thinks that Mason will hate him if he ever finds out his best friend is gay, but there’s one or two chapters that already hints to Mason flirting (even courting) Jamie and he still dismisses the hints. There’s the question, but his answer is always a no no no, he can’t possibly like me that way. So it’s entertaining and I wanted to find out so much how things will turn out for the both of them.

I gave this book a 4/5 stars just because the ending felt cut short. If probably the author gave a glimpse of the two of them riding out of town to college to live their lives independently, and finally, as a couple, then that would have been a very satisfying ending–for me.

Nonetheless, even without the help of Simon to highlight the writing of this book, I actually liked it a lot. Good read. 🙂

Fan Art” (novel) – 4/5 stars

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Day 038 – 2018.07.02

Taking things into the comfort room is not a good habit, but I can’t help it. This is one of my very old habits that I don’t deem necessary to stop, so I still do it.

The thing is, whenever one carries gadgets into a comfort room without a dedicated place for it to sit safely, one puts it into the danger.

So this morning, when I carelessly placed my phone on top of our soap box and a facial wash, I’m not sure what happened, but it plunged straight into our water container–like an Olympian.

So now, my phone is still working but it’s restarting every one minute and there’s an earphone supposedly plugged in even though there’s none, so the audio are mute by default. I suppose there’s still water inside so I’m counting on the rice grain to heat it up for me while I work.

I sure as hell want a new phone, but I’m not ready to replace it yet.

Rather, my budget is not ready for any big expenses this year.

Day 036 – 2018.05.02

And so, we’re down to our last day in Cebu. We’ve done most of what we can in our short stay, and I rather like the laid back vibe of this trip. However, I guess since we traveled by plane to get to this city, I feel that we could’ve done more and maximize our time to do more activities and visit more places.

Mao and I rate our trips in five categories usually: transportation, company, accommodation, food, and cultural experience of the place.

Transporation: 3/5
I missed the airplane experience, but Cebu Pacific fucking us right into the entry point of this trip pulled the rating down. Also, we used Uber all the time, so the local transpo experience was immediately striked-out of memory. Nonetheless, for comfort, there’s the rating for you.

Company: 5/5
I love these set of friends: Jen, PJ, and Geli. They’ve been constant companions even if they were just my co-workers for three months. We had good serious conversations, and the laughter never waned. Most importantly, in decision-making, we had our heads in the same page most of the time.

Accommodation: 4/5
The condo rented through Airbnb was very nice. Not that spacious, but it had a great view from the 20th floor. Necessary tools in the kitchen and bathroom, and the bed were comfortable. On the other hand, I would appreciate an addition of a bidet, thicker bedsheets, and a cabinet for clothes.

Food: 5/5
We were not able to eat all the local food recommended for us, but at least we got to try the “never-miss” ones like the Cebu lechon and sea food. There’s lechon and seafood in Manila too, but the way they make it in Cebu can only be experienced if you travel there yourself.

Cultural Experience: 4/5
As my friend said, Cebu is just like Manila, except it has closer beaches and people spoke in another language. There are the historical sites, but everything has history anyway. The people were very friendly and I learned some new words in Cebuano, so that’s a treat. Nature’s beauty was a big plus to this rating. No wonder so many foreigners love visiting Cebu for its beaches.

Overall rating: 4.2/5

———–

“Falling From the Sky” (5/5 stars, novel) – Nikki Godwin

This book was kind of a revelation from for me because I think it’s one of the first gay-themed books wherein we get the point of view from a straight guy who was falling in love with a gay man. Usually, it’s the other way around because it seems more tragic in the closet, but there’s also a story of not having any closet in the first place, but finding yourself in one–suddenly–upon falling in love.

“Falling From the Sky” is a summer love story, but I’m happy that by the end of the novel, there’s a preview of seasons after summer. Ridge found his peace in Micah, and Micah allowed himself to love again when Ridge came to Bear Creek.

There’s nothing much to note about the story, but I celebrated on the details of Ridge’s thoughts, especially over his developing attraction and feelings towards Micah, and even his family. His thoughts over his Dad’s passing was also one of the reasons I connected with Ridge easily. Also, the author’s use of the theme of “falling” as a metaphor for different events in the story was a really nice touch.

There’s a home kind of feel to this coming-of-age story. Recommended!

Day 032 – 2018.01.02

Finally. Finaaallllyyyyy~~~~~ I’ve finished reading this Simon book.

*breathe*

Okay.

I’m usually not happy to finish reading a story if they are good, like there’s the feeling of accomplishment for being able to focus and just read, but then you’ve grown somehow attached to the characters that you don’t want to say goodbye just yet, but then there’s this book with all the unnecessary dialogues–internal and external–that I’m like, yasssssss, we done here!

It was only half of the book when the plot seemed to be moving. Yes, Simon’s friends are important to his development as a person, but then there’s too many details about them which are unnecessary for the plot to move. The conflict was established immediately, like in the first chapter, and then it only moved by half of the book. The next parts of it felt like fillers instead.

I just wanted to know who was Blue because the email exchanges were very nice, at least.

So I’ll just look forward to the movie. At least, in the limitations of the medium to not include some internal dialogues, I’ll be saved from them with the story still in tact.

Simon Versus the Homo Sapiens Agenda” (novel) – 3/5 stars

Day 031 – 2018.31.01

Kindle broke my heart–again
(the relationship)

I’ve never been in a real relationship, so I can’t really miss or mourn for something I never have, but I’ve been in numerous relationships with gadgets I’ve grown to really love and be attached with, so in retrospect, yes, I’ve had my heart broken.

Twice, by the same thing.

You see, I made a djzsdbfkjsdbfknd;jgbdf;jgbld of a post when my Kindle, Sir Benedict, suddenly summons into life after suddenly deciding to give me the cold shoulder (unresponsive screen) without a clear clue of what I could have done wrong. It was like I was happily living in the relationship, but the love had become one-sided, and I was blind about it.

But I negotiated. I tried my best to revive it using various ways the Internet suggested (wall charging, hard resetting, factory reset, etc.), but alas, no response.

So I gave it space. I left it alone for a few days, but in between breaths and work, I prayed that it will come back. After some time I checked on it again. Perhaps it will come back to life–to me–just as suddenly as it died on me.

But it didn’t.

So I decided. Perhaps, it was time to move on.

Despite missing it, I looked for others, for replacements. Something cheaper, something that others have enjoyed, but Sir Benedict will always be the focal point. It’s like life before and after it. I even went back to physical books, thinking it was a better distraction because physical books and kindle, have different feels.

One day, after almost a month, I missed Sir Benedict. Just trying my chance, just one time, with a spark of hope, I reconnected with it.

And it responded to my fingers. My Kindle was warm to me again!

I was happy. Elated! I couldn’t believe it for the love of me. How could it be?! But then, it didn’t matter. What mattered is that it was back, and I wanted to be more careful this time around.

Whenever I held it, whenever I opened it, there’s this lingering paranoia that it will say goodbye suddenly like last time. I made sure not to take it out, to put it down oh so carefully, and hold my breath whenever I wake it from sleep. I was in constant fear of losing it again.

Because now I know it can.
It will.
If it wanted to.
It will break my heart again.

And it did.

I was reading a fanfic one night when it suddenly decided to once again give me the cold shoulder.

This time, my earth didn’t shatter as much as the first time it happened. It felt like I was waiting for it to happened. And it was sad to realize that.

Oh, so very sad.

For the second time, this Kindle broke my heart.

Day 020 – 2018.20.18

As I wanted to stay away from the heat of this day, I stored myself in a bookstore instead.

Since I was there for two hours and I basically finished reading a whole book, I opted to return the kindness and purchase a product. After all, I still had a gift card, so guilt free with the expenses!

I’m not into Science fiction, but I really found the creativity of Douglas Adams amazing and humorous. I liked the movie, but let’s see whether this book will be shelved and categorized as hoarded or as favorite.

Or, well, at least read.

Anyhow, the Family Day event at school was a success, so congratulations, work fam! ♥

Day 351: 12.17.2017

Skam Season 4 marathon!

I think I fell in love with Sana the first time I saw her interact with Isak in season 3. She’s so fierce and pretty!

But that fierceness is nowhere when she’s around Yosef. Awww. Makes me wonder how their relationship progresses after the season ended. I mean, Sana’s season is the end of Skam, after all. Sadly.

I loved Isak’s season as Even and Isak were really endearing and enduring in their fight against loneliness, finding salvation and solace in each other’s arms. I would have loved an Even season just to expound more on his manic episodes as a bipolar, but that’s just me as frustrated psych major. Nonetheless, I also love that it was simply a snippet of a manic episode of Even since the season is in Isak’s point of view. I think that small window made such huge impact still on giving Even’s character depth.

Season 4 focused a lot on having a sense of belonging, whether within family, friends, or in religion. I like the arguments and discussions about religion in this season. I’m more of a Yosef that I essentially threw away the rest of religion and just took the “best” part of it which is to remain as a good person. Well, as good of a person as I can be. However, I really like how Sana described to Yosef why her faith is so strong, especially how praying benefits her. It’s kind of the same as meditation, except she’s connecting with her creator, and in meditation you refocus. Nonetheless, both praying and meditation’s goal is to bring peace to the person.

Gotta watch the other two earlier seasons too. I’m not very fond of Eva and Noora, but I think they also have nice stories, so okay. ^^

Day 333: 11.29.2017

After writing everything down for things I need to accomplish for the next two weeks in my planner, I certainly can feel the pressure and the stress.

At least we’re down to 6 out of 15 students we need to meet parents for conferences, but the work continues next week! Along with organizing an event and being in charge of the school newsletter layouting.

What the fuck did I get myself into? And of course, that conflict with the parent is still at the back of my mind. I’ve seen them twice in school, but I was hesitant all the time to approach because I’m not really ready for a round 2. I think that an appointment should be set so I can ready myself for what could happen, good or bad. At this point really, I don’t want to add the stress of a confrontation, although on the other hand, I also want to clear out the tension with a closure because I don’t like fights, basically.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Tomorrow is a holiday, but there’s no holiday for a slave like me.
At least get eight hours of sleep bitch!

Day 331: 11.27.2017

Helllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Monday!

Finished with our first PTC today and I’m glad to say it was a success. Hopefully, there would not be any problems for the next ones.

On top of accomplishing PTC checklists and the actual conference, there’s a whole day of class to survive, and a side-dish of Xmas event coordinating happening.

I definitely want my holiday.

Day 329: 11.25.2017

I fucking could not get a wink out of that fuck of a situation with that freagin parent and it’s a weekend URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Alright, I needed to distract my mind. So.

I went o Fullybooked today to attend an event about reading. There were some talks and story telling. I really enjoyed the performance retelling of “The Little Prince”, the storytelling of a Filipino book, and the talk of a journalist from The New York Times. And hey, I won a mobile ring because I got a lot of correct answers for a grammar crossword!

NEEEERD.

Reading is indeed important. Very. I cannot stress enough how much I’m thankful that I found the joy in reading, even at a late start. I mean, I started getting into books around second year of high school when “Blood and Gold” of Anne Rice basically turned me into a novel-reader. As a child, of course I was exposed to children’s book: legends, folktales, fairytales, but they didn’t have that much influence on me. Creativity-wise, it was TV and anime that molded my imagination. My mom used to retell me stories of romance books she read (she’s a very good story teller), so I think that contributed to my writing and love of stories as well. But being more exposed to book, in a variety of genre, opened my consciousness to various perspectives about life. Especially when I got to college where the core of my degree is to drink the life out of literary works, I was able to appreciate stories, characters, and every single detail in a story in a deeper way.

My favorite quote from this event was from the journalist of The New York Times which goes: reading builds empathy. And I definitely, definitely, agree.

Being exposed to different kinds of perspective develops an understanding of personal motivations, intentions, personality, culture, and even the nuances of language that makes an impact in one’s life. In books, real-life conflicts are discussed, expounded, and resolved, but all varied depending on the character. Every single character in a book has a reason for their action and we have the privilege to have that window to understand why which build empathy.

Reading builds bridges for us to learn about the world at large through news articles, featured topics written for magazines online or print, through novels and short stories (you can learn about European culture even if you’re near the South Pole if you have access to books and the Internet)! We understood more about each other, feel more for each other as we get to know others stories through reading. And it’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Day 328: 11.24.2017

Day 328: 11.24.2017

So as much as I don’t want think about the universe fucking me in these stressful time, I think I ought to think of it as sadistic because it’s probably laughing at me with its fingers pointing at my agony right now.

*sigh*

So here’s the deal.

As the theme for this year’s school celebration for Christmas is close to home, the Filipino parents enthusiastically reached out to sponsor some food and pitch in some ideas.

So? Well and good, right? Not really.

You see, a parent wanted to have a Jollibee Christmas for the school and our boss just flatly said NO. Of course, as the coordinators, we have to be sensitive to everyone’s situation in school, so we ought to explain to this particular parent why Jollibee is a NO for the event. Our intention was to explain why not as it did not fit the traditional Filipino Christmas we were aiming for and not because we find Jollibee as not part of the culture or only for underprivileged children.

Most unfortunately, it was the latter. He misunderstood everything. You know when you get so triggered by something, some keywords zooms in and becomes enlarged and bold in your vision and it just makes you fume and forget reason? Yep, I think that’s what happened.

So of course, what do we do? We couldn’t do anything. We didn’t know what to reply to him. He was angry, we were shookt and I was quite offended, too. He just called us myopic and culturally insensitive as he misreads everything and make conclusions out of personal issues. Of course, I held back sending an essay defending our side because there’s basically no point reasoning to an angry person.

But I’m scared, oh so very scared of what will happen if this reaches my boss. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

Day 327: 11.23.2017

I’ve been in a love-hate-whatever relationship with my boss, but I think she fell into the “whoa” category this afternoon.

We had a meeting with her, going through our initial plans for the Christmas event, merging ideas with her own, and getting go signals for things that is impossible to push through without her blessing (the entire event, basically–and everything regarding the school–because she is the freagin owner).

Thankfully, we finished the meeting without us crashing into each other like bulls with opposing ideas. She was actually…pleasant today.

I think it’s the theme–Philippine Christmas–that her spirit (has become purified by the heavens) has brought out the goodness in her (surprise!). Well, the old woman is actually a kind one when she’s not in one of her moods, plus she’s a bit sick, so I think her meanness had been gloriously dulled by a virus.

(Gosh, I sound so selfish, don’t I?)

Well, cheers to a kinder boss and hope this kind relationship continues till the next months we’ll be together.

Day 326: 11.22.2017

After making a checklist of things to think (be paranoid) about for the Christmas event, I think we’re finally making progress.

The small details are the ones stressing me out because it’s often the small details that can ruin a big event, so I’m being so knit-picky about it. I just hope my partner doesn’t mind me bossing her around.

(I really don’t want to be bossy, but this side of me is summoned by the (desperate) desire to take control of things that can spiral out of control if I don’t take the leash first.

So, good luck to my nerves as I’m bound to lose more hair follicles after this holiday season.

Dear lord.

Day 325: 11.21.2017

You know what? I missed my kids. I really did.

When I talked to them, there was this unexplainable warmth in my chest. It was fleeting, but for a few seconds while I happily catch up with my children’s week, I was…content.

I guess that was what it was: contentment. Or the feeling of being home.

I was at home with these kids, with their hugs, their innocence, their energy.

I guess I’m ready to do this job for a lifetime? I would really love to experience that moment again.

Day 324: 11.20.2017

Today I bought my very first bra.
I mean, eherm, not my first bra (excuse me, I care about prying eyes to mah bewbs!) but it’s the first bra that I bought myself. Like in a store. Browse through and tried it in a store. Paid for it in a store.

You see, most of my bras are ordered by my mom from an Avon catalogue and that’s actually pretty normal in the Philippines. My aunt and mom were once Avon ladies, so why go the extra mile (and effort, pssh) to buy undergarments (including panties!) in a store when it’s as good as online shopping. Two gives pa, uy.

For women, busty or flat-chested pa yan, bras are important. It gives support to avoid sagging and keeps the nips away from the public eye. And just because a nip slip or a nip bulge suddenly makes a woman totally “naked” but exposing half of it (including the phenomena of the underboob) is still “safe”. On the other hand, a lot of studies also show that not wearing a bra is healthier for women as it is more natural, right? Well, at least in the safety of one’s home, ladies, please let your babies not be confined by industrially and socially constructed garments, okay?

Anyhow (what the fuck, this post is all about bras and boobs lel), I now know that there are better and cheaper bras than Avon has. I’ve been living a lie!

Hello, Bench Body. Woooo!

Day 323: 11.19.2017

I didn’t know how to spend my last day of vacation properly, so I just dragged myself out of the house to meet Camille.

Errr. We were supposed to watch a film, but my mind was so fixated with just meeting her that I didn’t immediately buy a ticket and we eventually ran out of it when I met her an hour after. T_______________T

I felt so, so guilty that I paid for the gigantic popcorn we ordered pre-film. LOL

Anyhow, I have a great friend so she forgave me after, then we met Mao and we just hang out.
Not bad.