Day 029 – 2018.29.01

Three Things:

1

Podcast + taken home work = sanity

2

Landscape option for Kindle makes for hands-free reading on my tummy! At least this big belly of mine is of use for something other than a protruding evidence of my neclect for body care.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAND Sir Benedict is still in very good shape. YEY!

(please please please don’t break my heart again)

3

THE REALITY IS TOO STRONG ON THIS ONE. I KENNAT.

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Day 028 – 2018.28.01

I think I haven’t really recovered from the week before with all the days of lacking sleep and stressing over the funeral, guests, and burial. You get that feeling of waking up and your muscles and bones aching and begging you to go back to bed because you deserve it and fuck the world, forget it?

Yeah, that feeling.

Alas, reality bites and I still have to complete our weekly lesson grid.

*sigh*

On the upside, SIR BENEDICT IS ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEE!!!! FSKJBFKJSDBFJKSDBFKJDSBFKJBDSJFKSDBF!!!
I CANNOT CONTAIN MY FUCKING GLEE MY KINDLE IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCK!!!!
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And just when I was considering buying a new one (again), after I gave up on the idea of buying an e-reader (again) after it. I dunno what really happened. I suspected it was the battery or it hardware malfunction somewhere since the touchscreen was not working anymore, I dunno. So just as mysteriously it died on me, it mysteriously revived too.

Strange.

When I think about it, my Kindle died a few days before news of my dad’s passing. And now it’s alive a few days after we buried him. My dad bought my Kindle.

HUH…?

Homy—-! EEEEK!

Well, for whatever it means, I hope this is a sign that my dad has successfully crossed the afterlife to paradise. 🙂

Day 026 – 2018.26.18

Happy 100 days of school!

I’m not exactly sure how we’re able to pull everything through with my partner threading the chaos of independent teaching without me through the chaos of our class, me with family matters, and other stuff to consider, well, congratulations to us!

The pancake and egg were a sure hit, surely! And I’m so proud of my kids being so attentive of guest by offering them food, serving, and pretend playing like business owners!

So cute!

Day 023 – 2018.23.01

Sometimes, the most beautiful smile can shatter one’s heart into pieces. Just like mine.

For a while, I’ve been wondering why my eyes had been so dry with the whole ordeal of my dad’s passing. I think I’m keeping everything inside, or I still feel weird that I’m still fine.

Like, losing a family member is suppose to make your life crumble, but it’s not always like that. We move on, it’s true. But I think we’ll always long for those we lost.

Personally, I’m always going to mull on my what ifs with Dad.

Sometimes, my dad is more of the person I always am in conflict with, someone I don’t understand, someone I long to understand. His image as a father is different from his image with his friends whom so many love and adore because of his jokes and charm. He’s not the grumpy, misunderstood man I make him out to be in my head, or it’s just that we all put a different side of ourselves out there.

When I saw these pictures of him,

I just…bawled.

I couldn’t stop crying. Alas I remember that my dad had showed that side of him to me so many times and I think I was never that welcoming of it. These were his smiles even when he was sick, trying to survive the night with the thought of the possibility of death just around the corner and at the same time not having the heart to make us worry that much.

I never realized my dad was so handsome until these pictures. And I think it was beyond the physical that I finally accepted his claim of being a handsome man, but it’s because through those smiles–from those selfies he sent over messenger–he was sending us a message that had always been universal in his life as our father: I’m okay. Don’t worry about me. Always be happy. I love you very much.

Day 024 – 2018.24.01

Sleep is for the weak for people attending the last day of a wake. I’ve been up since 7 AM for work and went straight here.

Along the way, to kill time and avoid sleeping, my cousins and I had an intense game of unggoy-ungguyan. It’s a simple card game of finishing your deck of cards through getting pairs. To complete the pairs, you’d have to chance upon it from the player next to you by randomly picking a card from their deck without you seeing it. A player is bound to have one card without a pair as from the beginning of the game, one card is hidden which is the “monkey card”. So whoever gets the pair of the monkey card, loses.

Unfortunately, I was the monkey the second round. And my idea of putting lipstick on the monkey as punishment backfired on me.

Well. Not like I ever cared about image hahaha. So when my duty to buy groceries was needed, I basically dragged my younger bro and nephew who were also losers and lipstick-stained like moix, well, as they say: YOLO!

Day 022 – 2018.22.01

So, my brothers have left me with my dad in the funeral chapel. Which is okay, right Dad? We’re kind of used to this anyway. I mean, we have that bonding moment at the hospital and it was like this: me sitting a few feet away from him and him sleeping. Only this time he’s never gonna wake up nor ask me to annoy the service of nurses, etc.

Shit. It’s heart-breaking.

On the other hand, they need to fix my dad. I mean, he doesn’t look like him! He’s not gonna like this, not at all. My dad looks more handsome than that, okay?

Shit. (I’m gonna start crying.)

Anyhow.

Since I’m left alone to watch over him (it’s a strange tradition), I watched a movie to pass the time. Like, The Way He Looks, I discovered this movie through Youtube clips. I think it’s from a top five list of European gay coming-of-age movies. Yay for coming-of-age! Yay for gay movie! Yay for hot actors! And…. *drumroll* It’s Norwegian!

Seriously, after Skam, I wanted to hear more Norwegian in my life, so this is a feat. And I’m officially changing my NO to NEI. LOL

Anyway, the movie is titled The Man Who Fell In Love with Yngve. It revolves around the life of Jarle who is happily performing with his up and coming band with his best friend and a supportive, cool and beautiful girlfriend. Things change upon the arrival of the new kid, Yngve, whom he develops feelings for. He pursues him, but does so without thinking of others which results to neglecting his band, his friends, his girlfriend, and even his family.

So…verdict?

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This was a 2008 film, so it’s pretty old, and I like the toned-down colors, even if the weather seem to be bordering on depressing. I’m not sure how Norwegians can hangout like the chill of the snow doesn’t bother their asses, but okay. Haha! There’s a band, awkward romance, and a crazy, but lovable best friend, so this works out well for the rom-com genre. Although we kind of lose that spin by the second half of the movie when Jarle wakes up to his reality. I kind of appreciate that because even though I cringe for the mistakes of Jarle, his flaws make him all the more relatable, especially when you’re young, dumb, and broke. The wake up call might’ve been too much, but don’t we all hit a hard wall when we become too blind of our own desires?

Caution, caution, caution.

There’s plenty of pairings that can go on here. And even though there’s a gay angle to this, I can’t help but like Katerine too.  But of course, the way Yngve and Jarle stare at each other seriously reminded me of Isak and Even. Even the way they interacted from the start! There’s those daring, lingering stares and secret meetings that makes up their own little world. EMERGERD! Yngve looks like a prince, a beautiful blond doll, and Jarle looks a bit like a young Heath Ledger with ginger hair. There’s also the bromance boardering true love with the way Helge comes on to Jarle. Their first time meeting also reminds me of Isak and Even when they were smoking in the apartment and shared about their taste in music.

At some point, I began thinking if Skam was patterned after this show. But I guess not. *shrug* And apparently, it’s a book! Unfortunately, despite being multi-translated to different European languages, English is not one of them. It would be great to go through this story from Jarle’s point of view. I’d love to discover how he describes his infatuation with the beautiful Yngve.

All in all, it’s a good movie. Quite a sad ending, but quite satisfying too. Yngve and Jarle together would’ve been great too, but I think as characters, and realistically, they need personal fixing first, which I think the movie offered to the audience by the end of it.

4/5 🌟

DAY 021 – 2018.21.18

For some reason, I am very chatty today. Like, online-chatty.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not very good with chats, so I’m thinking of erasing OK Cupid for good in a few week’s time if nothing fruitful comes out of it.

Well, now I have a better technique in approaching chats which is to comment on their profiles. Like if there’s something there that intrigues me or if there’s a common denominator, it doesn’t make me so hesitant to reach out anymore.

Today, I’m kinda trolling someone. I mean, I feel kinda sorry for him, but he’s going the sexy way, I’m in a funeral, and it doesn’t click. Well, even without the funeral, I’m still not comfortable with it. So instead of giving him serious answers (that might excite him more the wrong way), I just go around with it. On the other hand, he confessed that he’s bi-curious! OMGGGG!!!

I was basically in fujoshi-mode when we were talking about that and cheering for him to make-out with his gay neighbor he wanted also in the first place. LOL.

I’m not a prude, but I just don’t find sexy, flirty talk a turn-on. I mean, there’s probably a certain level of comfort to the person I need for that to be a comfortable topic for me. Sorry, dude.

Day 020 – 2018.20.18

As I wanted to stay away from the heat of this day, I stored myself in a bookstore instead.

Since I was there for two hours and I basically finished reading a whole book, I opted to return the kindness and purchase a product. After all, I still had a gift card, so guilt free with the expenses!

I’m not into Science fiction, but I really found the creativity of Douglas Adams amazing and humorous. I liked the movie, but let’s see whether this book will be shelved and categorized as hoarded or as favorite.

Or, well, at least read.

Anyhow, the Family Day event at school was a success, so congratulations, work fam! ♥