Day 118 – 2018.28.04

YAY FOR MEETING SUMMIT TITAS! MISSED YOU A BUNCH GILS~

On the other hand, one of my gals, Bea, sat me down for an interview. She asked me some personal questions which I’ll discuss a bit here:

What is your passion?

I don’t have anything burning that keeps me on my toes. Some people say my writing is good and I should pursue it, but I don’t believe it myself and I’ve long realized writing is just a hobby for me. If it’s something that bleeds into various aspects of my life is having the liberty and guts to ask about what I’m wondering or finding answers about it. Psychology had always been a big part of my life. The human psyche, our behavior, how we are affected by culture and society had always intrigued me and I find pleasure in analyzing people.

I’m not sure how different my life would be if I did pursue psychology as my undergrad. Who knows. I might have pursued post grad for it.

What is your greatest fear?

I think I gave a lame ass answer for this, so afterward it still made me think.

I guess, honestly, my greatest fear is to never have done some goals I’ve set for myself because I was too lazy or I had let life get the best of my ability to make them come true. I don’t have big plans for myself, but I do have some things I want to accomplish at least like independently living in another country, getting a license to have that legitimate feel that I’m a pro at something at least, or bunjee jumping.

Well, some introspection we have here.

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Day 104 – 2018.14.04

Saturday with my most favorite people in the world is ❤ ❤ ❤

My Junko Girls and I celebrated our 10th anniversary as friends. Can you believe that?! Of course, friends don’t usually celebrate anniversaries and we shouldn’t be counting much, but it was a great excuse to 1) finally taste the cooking of my friend whose skilled at it and has her own place to do it 2) to hang out with them again!

Back in college, when we were still new to each other, we meet about twice or once every month. But of course, real life catches on, employment, etc. and it made it harder to gather with as many members together.

My friendship with these girls have transcended fangirling to anime and jrock (that was our platform though), and we just share about everything. We even have a baby girl in the group, Dane! She’s as sassy as her mom and her many Junko aunts!

I have, thankfully, lots of friends, but these girls are personal treasures to me. Yes, there had been a shift in dynamics because we weren’t the same people as before, but I would say I am at my most genuine self with them. I always have a lot of laughs and the conversation topics is endless because they are smart, open-minded, and witty people to spend a day with.

I know it’s not going to be soon, but I hope to bond with you again, my gheis!

Day 098 – 2018.08.04

I think there was a time that even when I claimed my best friend, my “best friend”, I was always walking on egg shells with her.

Well, there are several valid reason of course, like her sensitivity (especially that prickly teenage time of our lives), but I think at the core of it all, I was so scared of losing someone I connect so well with. It’s strange, but we connect on so many levels that I feel it would be difficult meeting anyone like her again.

But well, after more than a decade of being friends, there’s still some eggshells behind, but they don’t hurt anymore. Basically, I can ignore the eggshells now because I can! I can be thoroughly honest with her, or well, at least to the level of honesty that I think works best for her sensitivity (even if it has matured immensely), so I’m very very pleased.

Thanks for always being my partner in crime, Mao! *kissy face*
And yeah, I think you’re stuck with me for life. mwahahahahahahah

Day 019 – 2018.19.01

Recently, I’ve been busy interacting with strangers through a PenPal app. So far I’ve talked to different people from different countries about various topics.

On the other hand, I’m sharing thoughts with this really interesting Pinoy. He kind of sounds like those Pinoy writers I read, and his ideas kind of sync with mine. 🙂 Also, started corresponding with this Russian guy (again) and I like how he sound so far. 🙂 I’m learning about Estonia and Cyprus from two female chatmates too!

YAY!

Day 006 – 2018.06.01

As they say, friends are the family you chose to have, and I think that’s very true. Since my relationship with my family is not very ideal, I think I’m very invested in the friends I have, at times, even more than with my family members.

Fortunately, I have a lot of friends. For some reason, despite my introversion, I easily gain friends. Somehow, I have an extrovert button. So, many friends I have, but it is inevitable that our paths separate along the way. As the song, “Wear Sunscreen” states: Friends come and go, with a precious few you have to hold on to. Also, in our Buddhism class, Shifu said that when people, like friends, lose connection with us, we do not have to feel too bad about it. It could only mean that our affinity to them and vice-versa is already finished. That’s natural.

I agree.

Also, in the natural movement of things, when friends become part of the working class, it’s very hard to put schedules together. If we always wait for everyone to be available on a certain day, chances are, it gets canceled or postponed. So when the opportunity came that more than half of my college barkada were available to meet on a Saturday, I really pushed for it to happen. I mean, I really love these people to pieces, and we’re not delaying a promise any longer just for one person.

Haaaaay.

These are the people who made my university life complete. They were the ones who never labeled me as weird or the odd one out of the group, we can discuss any topic under the sun, and I basically grew with these bunch.

I love you, CDLC!

Day 361: 12.27.2017

Holy shit I was able to write again.

Since I met a fellow writer yesterday, I ought to try my hand at writing again since it’s also for a project we’re both part of.

And lo and behold, I was able to finish it!

I guess the hardest part of writing is always forcing yourself to sit down and get started because I always use the excuse of not being in the mood to write even if I love it so much. But well, there’s also the lack of ideas, so bleh.

LOL.

Also met Anna today!

In our ICBB friends, I guess Anna’s my one true companion from before until now. Cheers to three years of friendship, chehebam! ❤

Day 231: 08.23.17

Recently, I’ve been in a hunt for light romantic-comedies after “Koe no Katachi”, so I stumbled upon this simple movie from the net.

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Synopsis (from MyAnimeList : https://myanimelist.net/anime/21647/Tamako_Love_Story)

As she edges toward the end of her high school life, the energetic but generally clueless third-year Tamako Kitashirakawa has only one major concern: pulling off a stunning baton performance at the Usagiyama Marching Festival. But all too soon, she is confronted by the reality that all her friends have big plans for their futures; she, on the other hand, just operates with the moderate goal of continuing to work at her family’s restaurant.

Under the same brilliant sky, Mochizou Ooji intends to study at a university in Tokyo, leaving behind his family, friends, and most importantly, his first and only love Tamako. Unfortunately, the shy admirer cannot bring himself to declare his love, and Tamako is yet unaware that she is the source of such anguish. With time quickly running out, Mochizou must confess his feelings to Tamako soon, or his dream of romance will never be fulfilled.

I found this anime to be quite entertaining. It is romantic, but not cheesy. There is a push, and some attempt at awkward pulling that results to adorable awkwardness. There’s no There’s nothing very in-dept about this anime, but then there’s also the reflection of sometimes questioning yourself whether you’re completely satisfied where you are, like what Tamako began panicking about when Mochizou confessed about his feelings for her and his plans to move to Tokyo.

I guess one of the charms of this anime movie is the simplicity of the story, yet it is relatable to everyone.

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There’s the awkwardness two long time friend could go through when one confesses his/her feelings and the other is not on the same boat (yet, perhaps), thinking of the future, changes versus tradition. There’s some angst if you squint really hard since it is slice of life, but then the development of the story is of course towards the happy ending of the protagonists arriving at a point with mutual romantic feelings.

Three highlights I have from this show:

 

The Confession

Of course. This is anime after all. The first confession scene I witnessed was probably from anime. Anyhow, I love the simplicity and straightforwardness of the confession scene by Mochizou: he found the moment, he dropped the two bombs on Tamako and let her mull on it.

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I mean, he was dead serious on his feelings and his decision to move to Tokyo for his dreams anyway, so confessing to her was just one part of his process, his growth process. He knew he had to tell her about his feelings, or else he’ll have regrets especially if he moves to Tokyo with that secret with him.

 

Tamako’s Realization about changes

Part of the show’s theme is change. Takako and her friends (including Mochizou) are in the senior year of high school, so it’s that time of their life that they should be thinking of their future. Most of her friends are already decided on what to pursue. Tamako surely has a passion for making mochi since her family business is a mochi shop, so she wants to help out and eventually inherit it. When Mochizou confessed to her, there’s a sudden awakening that everything in her life is actually changing. Her future separation with her friends from school doesn’t seem to bother her that much, but since Mochizou had been with her her whole life, it felt like a part of her was separating from her without consent. Mochizou is part of her community life, that little community that embraced her life their own child, especially when her mother died while she was still young. While she is comfortable and satisfied with the image and life she has and in that tradition, she began asking herself about change. In my opinion, I hope Tamako continues with the mochi-making because I see her heart is into it, and tradition is just to important to preserve for culture’s sake, but I think this is also a very important realization for her to reflect on what she really wants and what she can let go, as well as to strengthen her decision-making skills.

 

Tamako and Mochizou’s friendship

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These two have a long history together, and no wonder one of them developed special feelings. Well, the other one was just delayed, I guess. Anyhow, I love how the show highlighted their friendship. They had been each other’s support in both fun and sadness. They don’t have to be best friends to treat each other as a special friend. As high school students, they are not shown to always be together, but when they are together, there’s that comfort and familiarity you feel between long-time friends, and not just because Mochizou is in love with Tamako.

 

The ending was a bit hanging for me though as it just closed with Tamako confessing her feelings back to Mochizou. The climax was reached alright, but where’s the falling action?! What happened to them after that? Demmet.

Anyhow, as this was such a nice, light and entertaining show anyway, I’d still give it a 4.5/5 🌟

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Day 214: 08.06.17

Went out with mah Junko Girls today!

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8 years of crazy overlaps with these gheis ❤

I dearly missed these people. I have a lot of friends, but I can definitely say they are my favorite people in the universe (if I haven’t said that before here.)

Indeed, I’ve grown older with these ladies. I mean, we used to hang out in anime conventions (or outside of it), eat fast food in a mall’s food court with our school allowances, but have such a great time we go home until late at night, but now we meet for lunch for Vietnamese food and go home before 9 PM.

Haha! Welcome to Tita days!

Day 163: 6.16.17

To have someone understand your mind is a different kind of intimacy.

 

For a lot of people continuously chatting for two hours is normal. Two might even be the bare minimum of a daily normal chat, but not for me.
Well, until tonight.

I just chatted for two hours straight with someone! This is an achievement! For my introverted part, this is a milestone, mind you. This person is also from our group, but she’s one of the less active member. From the beginning, I’ve felt a strange connection with her, so just one random night, I messaged her and then we hit it off great! Of course we were usually fangirling, but lots of secrets had been spilled, so that makes me trust her even more. I’m glad I’m not alone with my thoughts. She’s just the more vocal one. Haha!

Since she’s honest (and can be brutally so), I asked her opinion about my writing. I don’t have a problem with narration, but if I want more of my target readers, I have to use less jargons since it can be too much. To be honest, I’m not even sure which jargon she was talking about! So with that, I’m not really sure what to do. And it was reassuring that someone appreciates me for not caring about what others think of my work. It was a good reminder of why I started writing again in the first place because honestly, I think I’m losing that reason against all these negativity.

I also congratulate myself for being brave enough to ask for criticism. I love writing so much that I’m ultra sensitive with it. Nonetheless, I needed that. Even if she gave me really negative feedback, that would’ve been immensely hopeful, too.

Anyway, I’m very glad to have found like-minded people in this new fandom and with this group. Of course, I try to interact with everyone in the group–I try–but of course there’s only one, two, or three people that we’ll connect to in a deeper level. I’m glad I’ve met them already. 🙂

Day 140: 05.21.17

It’s test of friendship night with bestfriend!

I know I’m stuck for life with this bitch and I am happy to be stuck with her for the rest of my life, it’s just that the adventures are unknown haha. Anyway, it’s always fun and meaningful with her. Cheers to more adventures whether in the cold, rain, or heat!

So to Mao, thanks for sticking around for more than a decade. I’m not a very good friend, nor a clingy person in general, but I will to you, whether you like it or not! Hahahahaha!

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Hello there! How do you do?

It’s been some eventful weeks so far. Progress are happening which really makes me happy.

I’m still struggling with handling children as my students. Learning the reading program is fun, and teaching it is more exciting than I expected. Especially when I see a glint of thrill in the student’s eyes whenever I show them our book of the day. Although there’s still much to learn, I believe I’m getting the hang of it. In terms of creative writing, I’ve gathered enough ideas to last me two months worth of sessions. The trouble usually lies on the student themselves, or my lack of understanding with children. So far, my CW classes are consequently a series of trial-and-error as each student have their own reservations when it comes to expressing themselves on paper; some prefer not to ever express themselves on paper! I swear, most of my CW classes exhaust me, leaving me depressed and often feeling inadequate for the job.

*sigh*

On a lighter note, I think my co-workers are warming up to me, and me to them. There’s just some moments in our small room wherein I feel very left out. It’s probably just me being hesitant and overly concerned about boundaries (I hate making myself seem overly friendly), though I’ve established the strongest friendships I had through lowering our walls around each other and proceeding to teasing! Seriously! I just hate the feeling of being so self-conscious and uncomfortable, especially since they are the people I’d be seeing and working around with–hopefully–for a long time. I hope we can shed off the awkwardness soon. Though they’re not my kind of crowd, I genuinely think my co-workers are pretty nice people.

Another progress is one of my really good friend whom I had a sort of fall-out with apologizing to me. I really loved this friend of mine, so I was easily hurt when he did something which hurt our friendship. It’s especially more vexing when the root of the friendship problem is money. Well, we’ll be seeing each other on Friday with our other friends. We’ve talked a bit over Facebook, so I’m sure most of the awkwardness would’ve been dispelled on Friday. Hmm, well let’s see.

Another update is I’m biking more often! Yes, I think my body and my bike are getting more used to each other. There was a dangerous incident today wherein I almost caused traffic and some people shouting at me for carelessly crossing the road on a GO, but that’s another lesson to be learned, right? Moreover, I got to chat shortly with a really nice uncle who also bikes to and from work. It’s nice to get another perspective regarding biking for practical purposes. Also, I’m never biking in skinny jeans! Damn fashion! Comfort would also come first for me!

There’s still much to update, but since my eyes are telling me to lay down and let it rest, I shall end here…for now.

Life, UPDATED.

 

 

 

Good night!

Quotes: “Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore”

There is no immortality that is not built on friendship and work done with care. All the secrets in the world worth knowing are hiding in plain sight. It takes forty-one seconds to climb a ladder three stories tall. It’s not easy to imagine the year 3012, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. We have new capabilities now–strange powers we’re still getting used to. The mountains are a message from Aldrag the Wyrm-Father. Your life must be an open city, with all sorts of ways to wander in. After that the book will fade, the way all books fade in your mind. But I hope you will remember this: A man walking fast down a dark lonely street. Quick steps and hard breathing, all wonder and need. A bell above a door and the tinkle it makes. A clerk and a ladder and warm golden light, and then: the right book exactly, at exactly the right time.”

“He has the strangest expression on his face- the emotional equivalent of 404 PAGE NOT FOUND.”

“But I kept at it with the help-wanted ads. My standards were sliding swiftly. At first I had insisted I would only work at a company with a mission I believed in. Then I thought maybe it would be fine as long as I was learning something new. After that I decided it just couldn’t be evil. Now I was carefully delineating my personal definition of evil.”

“Some of them are working very hard indeed. “What are they doing?” “My boy!” he said, eyebrows raised. As if nothing could be more obvious. “They are reading!”

“(about Kindles) I have one and I use it most nights. I always imagine the books staring and whispering, Traitor!”

“I’ve never listened to an audiobook before, and I have to say it’s a totally different experience. When you read a book, the story definitely takes place in your head. When you listen, it seems to happen in a little cloud all around it, like a fuzzy knit cap pulled down over your eyes”

Robin SloanMr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore (novel)

 

I just finished this book this afternoon, and I loved it! In the end, the message is simple enough…but you’d have to read the book to find out.

I never expected this book to have a detective-story touch (what was I thinking when I read the synopsis? Probably: “Just buy it!”), but as most mystery novels I have experienced, they are very fun to read, indeed.

I love the fact that the author played with the idea, and possibly the arguments, around how we aquire knowledge nowadays: the traditional way through reading and analyzing texts from physical books, or the ultra-modern way of Googling everything. Nonetheless, there’s no judgment, only a very nice and touching moral lesson.

Give it a go. 🙂