I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I? don’t wanna know. I would like to think they were singing about some thing was so beautiful it cant be expressed in words and make your heart ache because of it.I tell you this voice soared higher and farther than anybody in a Gray place dares to dream it is like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away. For the briefest moment every last man in Shawshank felt free.

Ellis Boy “Red” Redding, The Shawshank Redeption (1994, American Film)

Day 220: 08.12.17

Based on a podcast about embracing chaos, a sudden encounter with it can sprout creativity and boost mental power. While listening to the podcast, I couldn’t help but agree with it especially thinking about my experience with my FOURS class last school year.

My previous class was branded as chaotic by many who had the exprience of staying with us for more than several minutes, especially my boss who seemed to have been traumatized especially when one of my kids made her chase him. AHAHAHAHA! We labeled our class as Jurassic Park because really, there’s no better way of describing it. However, despite the stress, many banters, and problems that happened inside our classroom, there were plenty of learning, laughter, and fun that came with it. It is from this batch of wild kids that I understood the worth of my job as a teacher. That as a teacher, genuine love and desire of growth for your students have to be present in your heart so you can both achieve that goal. That in those little moments of chaos, my problem-solving and analytical skills were sharpened, and I think I became very creative when it came to activities. Planning a single activity required the understanding of all 15 children and the many factors that came to play as a group and them as individuals.

I think my partner and I embraced the chaos very well, so even though this batch was hella tiring to manage, I’d chose to be with them again and again in different lifetimes.

Haaaay. I miss those kids.

 

Day 217: 08.09.17

Haaaaaay.

Since my assignment for MES is over, there’s not a lot to do more for the class tomorrow, well, there’s plenty of time to watch “The Rose”. Not to mention I had eight hours of sleep yesterday, so I’m wide awake even as of this writing!

*Standing ovation* I’m not sure if I’m eloquent enough to describe my admiration for this show, so instead of giving an overall review of the drama, I’ll spazz about the very satisfying ending instead.

*breathe*

I’m a person whose very particular with endings, aside from characterization, so I was a bit nervous about the ending of this show. I mean, out of the 26 episode, I was glued to the edge of my seat/bed because every episode was so damn well-executed, so I didn’t want an unsatisfying ending. The ending is a deal breaker for me. Even if a story is great, if the ending sucks, it’s possible that my impression of it as a whole dampens. On the contrary, if the ending is satisfying despite the OK story as a whole, my impression of the show can be saved.

For “The Rose”, I was very happy. With Jin and Bai He together, Fu Rong finally spiling what’s really inside her heart (her cool mask shattering), and Kui accepting and moving on from heartache, the problem with their mom was the only one left to solve. And so, I thought it was a very nice touch to put the solution for this conflict last because after resolving their personal problems (including their mother’s), they then faced the problem of their family as a family.

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They were connected in the first place because of their mother, no matter how wild she is. Their collective love for her, though in different ways, humbled her, and it paved way for her to finally express her love for them and understanding each other better.

The ending was of course Jin and Bai He’s wedding (sponsored by Mom of course!), Kui still realistically hurting but staying strong in moving on, then there’s Fu Rong who finally hinted of her and Mao Ji’s own wedding soon! WAIII~ Too bad they were not able to expound on this anymore. I really wanted to see how Fu Rong would introduce Mao Ji to her arrogant and high-standard mother, and how he’ll eventually charm her like how he charmed Fu Rong. Hihi.

Anyhow, 10/10 stars for this drama. I’ve never had so much sepanx and attachment towards a TV drama. Love it!

Day 216: 08.08.17

*sigh*

Kui. Han Kui.

I’m not sure if it’s unconscious bias, but I have never cared for a character’s pain so much that I cried with him. Well, I’ve had a similar experience in the past probably (thank you, faulty memory), but we’re talking about the now (so shut up!).

Anyhow, Episode 23 of “The Rose” had *SPOILER ALERT* Jin and Bai He already together. Jin already professed his feelings and has come to terms with his past. The two are in bliss with each other while Kui remains on the side, hurting.

Even with the previous episodes, I started getting irritated with the main couple because I felt that they were not paying attention to Kui’s feelings.

Kui knew where he stood, his limitations, but he just probably needed acknowledgement and affirmation from the two. It was obvious that Kui had fallen deeply in love with Bai He, but I think this was never seriously acknowledged by Bai He because they are siblings and she just does not intent to trespass that line because she is fond of Kui as a sibling, and because she knows how to distinguish family love from romantic love. That’s why when Jin still did not know that they are not blood-related and he still ignored her, she chose not to reveal that truth because she prioritized family. So with Kui, Bai He didn’t acknowledge Kui’s advances because she did not want Kui to continue viewing her that way. However, Bai He was unaware how serious Kui was, how he was a man deeply in love with her, that a proper reply to his feelings was never given.

Until episode 23.

So in this episode, Kui drank with Jin. They talked seriously about Bai He, and their feelings. Kui knew that he should be happy for the two, but he couldn’t help but be in pain, and drinking was his way of mending that. However, I find it really brave of him to talk with Jin because I know he was finding a way to move on. He didn’t want to wallow in self-pity because he did not want to dampen the happiness his siblings found in each other. In that talk, Kui made Jin promise never to make Bai He cry, he promised, then Jin asked Kui for his sister’s hand in marriage.

Kui hugged Jin for comfort, and I know, somehow in his own way, Jin was also trying to comfort Kui as his older brother, even if he was one of the primary reasons for his pain. When Kui went home, Bai He was waiting for him, mad and worried. She was surprised to find out Kui was drunk, so she asked him what was wrong. Bai He knew that despite Kui’s loud personality, he was not a drinker, that’s Jin. But Bai He knew why he drank. She understoood. She said sorry to Kui, and I think in that moment, she was finally saying sorry and rejected Kui as a man, not as a brother.

It was heart breaking (and this is the part I cried), when Kui turned around to face Bai He, and murmur something to Bai He. He had such a hard time saying it, that no sound came out of it and it seemed he was about to choke any minute. After two tries, he was finally able to whisper “Good luck” to her. It was his wish for Bai He, to be happy with Jin.

He accepted defeat.

I guess, I just wanted someone to comfort Kui the whole time he had to endure the pain of being heart broken. Since he’s such a loud person, the seriousness of his feelings when he shows it looks like a tantrum or childishness to his family. It was very hard to look at as an audience.

Haaaay. I wish I can hug Kui.

Day 215: 08.07.17

Hello, Monday.

I’m definitely not in the best condition especially since I slept late. Nonetheless, I was able to finish my one shot project for MES, so only one last edit and revision for tomorrow, then time to pass.

Quality wise of this work, I’d say 3/5 stars. Out of the four works I made for the projects, this one is the MEH of the group. The sarcastic tone was fun to write though and the ending was satisfying, although I think this wouldn’t be a popular read.

Anyhow, I don’t care. I’ll write what I want, and how I want it. After this, it’s time to go back Joe Cheng! Seriously missing that drama already.

Day 214: 08.06.17

Went out with mah Junko Girls today!

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8 years of crazy overlaps with these gheis ❤

I dearly missed these people. I have a lot of friends, but I can definitely say they are my favorite people in the universe (if I haven’t said that before here.)

Indeed, I’ve grown older with these ladies. I mean, we used to hang out in anime conventions (or outside of it), eat fast food in a mall’s food court with our school allowances, but have such a great time we go home until late at night, but now we meet for lunch for Vietnamese food and go home before 9 PM.

Haha! Welcome to Tita days!