What can I say, hey, Monday!
Not the best day in terms of class management, but I guess the kids have better relationship now. I mean, at the beginning of the school year, the kids were quite shy around each other and would usually just stick to familiar people or us. However, now, they’ve gotten used to other children and have become friends now, I guess. So I guess I should ready myself for noisier days to come.
Finally posted a smut fic that had been sitting in my drafts folder for almost two months. It’s one of those stories I dashed to my laptop after the idea came to me, and after three hours, I had almost 3000 words worth of writing. It’s one of those stories wherein I felt I was in a trance while processing the idea to words, and it was magical.
It’s smut, so the story is within the sensual scenes. Yet again, I’m not very big on plots anyway, even when I knit-pick on that as a reader and/or viewer.
I guess, I’m just very proud of this work because aside from the fact that it was made out of an ideal process, the writing itself was something I thought I’d lost.
He felt free. And although he was empty of something now, he was definitely full of affection for the young woman still connected to him, body convulsing, as if the waters of her body turned into waves, crashing inside her. She gripped the sheets, eyes shut, moans engulfed as he witnessed her fall into the entirety of her pleasure.
I’m able to use imagery like a proper lit student again! I thought after my Kagrra,-writing days, I lost the ability to use this in writing. I guess, it will always be there. Thankfully.
Based on a podcast about embracing chaos, a sudden encounter with it can sprout creativity and boost mental power. While listening to the podcast, I couldn’t help but agree with it especially thinking about my experience with my FOURS class last school year.
My previous class was branded as chaotic by many who had the exprience of staying with us for more than several minutes, especially my boss who seemed to have been traumatized especially when one of my kids made her chase him. AHAHAHAHA! We labeled our class as Jurassic Park because really, there’s no better way of describing it. However, despite the stress, many banters, and problems that happened inside our classroom, there were plenty of learning, laughter, and fun that came with it. It is from this batch of wild kids that I understood the worth of my job as a teacher. That as a teacher, genuine love and desire of growth for your students have to be present in your heart so you can both achieve that goal. That in those little moments of chaos, my problem-solving and analytical skills were sharpened, and I think I became very creative when it came to activities. Planning a single activity required the understanding of all 15 children and the many factors that came to play as a group and them as individuals.
I think my partner and I embraced the chaos very well, so even though this batch was hella tiring to manage, I’d chose to be with them again and again in different lifetimes.
Haaaay. I miss those kids.
Huh.
We only had four children for the first whole day program. NOT BAD.
Hopefully, the next days will be as peaceful and organized as today.
Lots of hugs too~
It’s the start of the whole day program tomorrow!
Good luck to us.
Hopefully, my partner and I did a good job establishing routine to our kids that we’ve solved half of our management problem.
Classroom, please bless us.
Haaaaaay.
Since my assignment for MES is over, there’s not a lot to do more for the class tomorrow, well, there’s plenty of time to watch “The Rose”. Not to mention I had eight hours of sleep yesterday, so I’m wide awake even as of this writing!
*Standing ovation* I’m not sure if I’m eloquent enough to describe my admiration for this show, so instead of giving an overall review of the drama, I’ll spazz about the very satisfying ending instead.
*breathe*
I’m a person whose very particular with endings, aside from characterization, so I was a bit nervous about the ending of this show. I mean, out of the 26 episode, I was glued to the edge of my seat/bed because every episode was so damn well-executed, so I didn’t want an unsatisfying ending. The ending is a deal breaker for me. Even if a story is great, if the ending sucks, it’s possible that my impression of it as a whole dampens. On the contrary, if the ending is satisfying despite the OK story as a whole, my impression of the show can be saved.
For “The Rose”, I was very happy. With Jin and Bai He together, Fu Rong finally spiling what’s really inside her heart (her cool mask shattering), and Kui accepting and moving on from heartache, the problem with their mom was the only one left to solve. And so, I thought it was a very nice touch to put the solution for this conflict last because after resolving their personal problems (including their mother’s), they then faced the problem of their family as a family.
They were connected in the first place because of their mother, no matter how wild she is. Their collective love for her, though in different ways, humbled her, and it paved way for her to finally express her love for them and understanding each other better.
The ending was of course Jin and Bai He’s wedding (sponsored by Mom of course!), Kui still realistically hurting but staying strong in moving on, then there’s Fu Rong who finally hinted of her and Mao Ji’s own wedding soon! WAIII~ Too bad they were not able to expound on this anymore. I really wanted to see how Fu Rong would introduce Mao Ji to her arrogant and high-standard mother, and how he’ll eventually charm her like how he charmed Fu Rong. Hihi.
Anyhow, 10/10 stars for this drama. I’ve never had so much sepanx and attachment towards a TV drama. Love it!
*sigh*
Kui. Han Kui.
I’m not sure if it’s unconscious bias, but I have never cared for a character’s pain so much that I cried with him. Well, I’ve had a similar experience in the past probably (thank you, faulty memory), but we’re talking about the now (so shut up!).
Anyhow, Episode 23 of “The Rose” had *SPOILER ALERT* Jin and Bai He already together. Jin already professed his feelings and has come to terms with his past. The two are in bliss with each other while Kui remains on the side, hurting.
Even with the previous episodes, I started getting irritated with the main couple because I felt that they were not paying attention to Kui’s feelings.
Kui knew where he stood, his limitations, but he just probably needed acknowledgement and affirmation from the two. It was obvious that Kui had fallen deeply in love with Bai He, but I think this was never seriously acknowledged by Bai He because they are siblings and she just does not intent to trespass that line because she is fond of Kui as a sibling, and because she knows how to distinguish family love from romantic love. That’s why when Jin still did not know that they are not blood-related and he still ignored her, she chose not to reveal that truth because she prioritized family. So with Kui, Bai He didn’t acknowledge Kui’s advances because she did not want Kui to continue viewing her that way. However, Bai He was unaware how serious Kui was, how he was a man deeply in love with her, that a proper reply to his feelings was never given.
Until episode 23.
So in this episode, Kui drank with Jin. They talked seriously about Bai He, and their feelings. Kui knew that he should be happy for the two, but he couldn’t help but be in pain, and drinking was his way of mending that. However, I find it really brave of him to talk with Jin because I know he was finding a way to move on. He didn’t want to wallow in self-pity because he did not want to dampen the happiness his siblings found in each other. In that talk, Kui made Jin promise never to make Bai He cry, he promised, then Jin asked Kui for his sister’s hand in marriage.
Kui hugged Jin for comfort, and I know, somehow in his own way, Jin was also trying to comfort Kui as his older brother, even if he was one of the primary reasons for his pain. When Kui went home, Bai He was waiting for him, mad and worried. She was surprised to find out Kui was drunk, so she asked him what was wrong. Bai He knew that despite Kui’s loud personality, he was not a drinker, that’s Jin. But Bai He knew why he drank. She understoood. She said sorry to Kui, and I think in that moment, she was finally saying sorry and rejected Kui as a man, not as a brother.
It was heart breaking (and this is the part I cried), when Kui turned around to face Bai He, and murmur something to Bai He. He had such a hard time saying it, that no sound came out of it and it seemed he was about to choke any minute. After two tries, he was finally able to whisper “Good luck” to her. It was his wish for Bai He, to be happy with Jin.
He accepted defeat.
I guess, I just wanted someone to comfort Kui the whole time he had to endure the pain of being heart broken. Since he’s such a loud person, the seriousness of his feelings when he shows it looks like a tantrum or childishness to his family. It was very hard to look at as an audience.
Haaaay. I wish I can hug Kui.
Hello, Monday.
I’m definitely not in the best condition especially since I slept late. Nonetheless, I was able to finish my one shot project for MES, so only one last edit and revision for tomorrow, then time to pass.
Quality wise of this work, I’d say 3/5 stars. Out of the four works I made for the projects, this one is the MEH of the group. The sarcastic tone was fun to write though and the ending was satisfying, although I think this wouldn’t be a popular read.
Anyhow, I don’t care. I’ll write what I want, and how I want it. After this, it’s time to go back Joe Cheng! Seriously missing that drama already.
Went out with mah Junko Girls today!
8 years of crazy overlaps with these gheis ❤
I dearly missed these people. I have a lot of friends, but I can definitely say they are my favorite people in the universe (if I haven’t said that before here.)
Indeed, I’ve grown older with these ladies. I mean, we used to hang out in anime conventions (or outside of it), eat fast food in a mall’s food court with our school allowances, but have such a great time we go home until late at night, but now we meet for lunch for Vietnamese food and go home before 9 PM.
Haha! Welcome to Tita days!
Bai He, by hugging you, I can no longer differentiate whether the rain poured on my hair or on my hand. I also cannot differentiate what is happening inside my heart.
–Han Jin, The Rose (Taiwanese drama)
Sound is formless. But, when it comes out of a human’s body, it has temperature. That is the first time I found out that it has warmth, and you can touch it, too. You could keep the sounds of the people you like by carving it deeply in your skin.
–Han Bai He, The Rose (Taiwanese drama)
The value of life is not limited to the flesh, it’s about what we did.
–Jiang Zhi Shu, They Kissed Again (Taiwanese drama)
Since I didn’t want to sleep early last night (I was sleepy at 8:30, wtf grandma), I drank coffee. It’s usually not in my practice to drink coffee at night because it fucks up my sleeping pattern, but well, there’s exceptions every now and then.
I got really sleepy anyway, around 9 PM I fell asleep while watching a drama. I woke up around 1 AM, and didn’t feel sleepy until near 4 AM.
So just when I thought coffee didn’t work, it did, just a bit late.
I got up after 5 hours of sleep, my heart palpitations tell me I should catch up on sleep with naps, but an hour tossing and turning on the bed for siesta, nothing.
Haaay. Let’s see.
I’ll just write something. Hopefully, I’ll finish the OS for MES so I don’t have to bother tomorrow. Haha!
Woohoo! We survived the first leg of the school year’s many more weeks. YAY!
One of my cute students in class, Candy, celebrated her birthday with us. Happy 4th birthday, princess Candy! Xie xie~
So many things still to settle for the class. Have to send emails and messages to parents here and there, Parent-Teacher conferrences, little arguments with my boss.
Haaaaay.
On the other hand, I will really cherish this chance that I’m still allowed to slack off in the afternoon. Classes are still half day and the class for UP has not started yet.
I’m hiding from fandom most of the time because I’m busy with work in the morning and busy with Joe Cheng drama at night.
Haha! All is well, anyway.
It has become a habit for me to be busy in the morning with work at school, and watching at least two episodes of the “The Rose” before sleeping.
As I mentioned before, it is really addicting. I’m not sure what kind of drugs this show has, but I find myself glue to my spot every time I’m watching it.
I cannot pinpoint whether the plot is moving fast or slow, because it depends on the episodes. There are fillers, as well, but they are equally entertaining as the main story. I think the success of the show lies in the intricacy of the characters’ personality and personal dilemas, as well as the complex relationship built around them as romantic love and love for family are blurred and questioned.
I was surprised when they gave away one of the biggest secrets about Bai He by the fifth episode, but at this point, I realized, it’s actually a good plot device for the development of Bai He and Jin’s relationship.
On the other hand, I feel very sorry for Kui. The saying that we cannot chose the person we fall in love with is very true with Kui’s situation. He fell in love with both Jin and Bai He who are his half siblings. When he realized he was falling for Bai He, he really wished she turns out to be not their mother’s child, but then she is, and her only blood family, in fact, is Kui. Kui already feels guilty for loving Jin, his older half-brother, and then he falls in love again, apparently, with another sibling. He’s aware that his love is forbidden and he should not pursue it, but then he is only human, so his self-control and rational wanes every now and then. Bai He’s care-free personality allows him to be more affectionate to her than him to Jin, which in turn, makes him fall in love with her more.
At some point. Kui left the house when Jin found out about his feelings, and I was quite relieved for him. Finally, I realized the gravity of his guilt for having those feelings. The reason he eats so much is because it comforts him. He’s like a walking stomach which does not have a bottom because his guilt is almost bottomless. He doesn’t gain weight because he gains nothing from the comfort of food as it only silences his pain. When he left the house, for once, he could live as a single man, not of the Han family, not the “brother”, he didn’t eat as much (he didn’t have money, but also he didn’t need to), and he was emotionally independent. Fu Rong said that Kui is a person who craves for affection which their house lacked until Bai He came, so for once he was able to see that he can live without that craving. But of course, this independent living was short-lived since Jin and Bai He was able to get him home.
Since I’m still torn between Jin and Kui for Bai He, I’m shipping the Fu Rong and Mao Jin pair for now.
For some reason, I thought the quiet but fierce Fu Rong would go well with the eccentric Mao Jin. Their contrast in character makes for the odd chemistry. Nonetheless, both of them are very perceptive. Their advices and opinions influence the actions of the other characters. They are the personification of logic for the often confused Han triangle. It’s so cute to see Fu Rong’s calm demeanor shaken by Mao Jin’s persistent interest in her, and how he gradually captivates her attention by being raw and honest with her. I noticed that Fu Rong always has her arms crossed on her chest, a gesture that can mean a person has high walls, but Mao Jin was able to read her like an open book, and I guess this touched her. I hope they end up together in the story. 😀
The episodes tonight also got me giggling and almost losing my mind with my fujoshimones going haywire! Since the Jin/Bai He, Kui/Bai He doesn’t disturb me much, the Jin/Kui pair is shippable too!
Not to mention, they are both equally hot men! Haha! These two brothers play silly. Haha! At some point, I say drop Bai He and get together instead! XD
SCHOOL STARTED!!!
Haaaay, and it ended pretty well.
I have a big class at the very beginning of the school year. Quite intimmidating frankly, since I’m the senior teacher now between my partner and I, there’s a lot of kids to handle, and my set of parents this year seem to be quite particular and knit-picky.
With my new partner, Micah, I just hope I’m communicating well to her that we are partners, so things don’t always have to come my way. I just know a bit more, but then fresh ideas are always welcome. She’s a smart and creative girl, I’ve observed, but she seems to, how to say, mild? I hope I’m not intimidating her.
Well, no crying and everyone was still in a good mood until the end of classes, so good job today, self!
Such is Life // 